Well, we had the court date and we came to an agreement like 10 minutes before the hearing. The outcome is that I cannot go within 500 yards of the road my house is on until Dec. 31st or the divorce is finalized. I pay the mortgage only. She pays the utilities, the oil and her own lawyer fees for this action (the divorce is a different story). I am allowed one single entry into the house, before July 27th, for up to 3 hours with the police present to collect my personal belongings.
I can't believe she agreed to this because this is so much worse for her than what I had originally offered her. I am out of the country every other month. I had offered her split occupancy, I live there when I am home, she can live there when I am not. I was going to pay ALL the bills, I was going to give her $10k up front and $1k per month to get her set up in her own rental house or apartment and pay her lawyer's fees. She could have moved into her new place over a period of months and done it at her convenience at my cost. Now she has to be out by Jan 1 at her cost. Her main focus was getting occupancy of the house and she got it for 5 months but I don't think she realizes that she just lost out on over $17k. Since I would only be there for 2 1/2 of those months it is costing her $6,800 per month for those 2 1/2 months of exclusive occupancy.
I think what it was is that the hearing could have gone either way. The definition of abuse is so broad and vague that even raising your voice 3 years ago could show a pattern of abusive behaviour. So it could have gone against me. Or the judge could see her for what she is and said, "This is stupid, case dismissed." So it could have gone against her. Neither of us wanted to lose and I think when she saw me there in court with all my family and friends to testify on my behalf she realized that she could lose and took what she could get. What I've got from the court is an agreed order of protection with no findings of abuse. I definately did not want to roll the dice and take a chance on getting a protection order with findings of abuse. That would have sucked.
My lawyer had not met my wife prior to the court date, she had just been going on what me, my family and my friends had been telling her. Within 5 minutes of meeting my wife my lawyer said, "Wow, she really is a whacko." My wife was playing the drama queen and was all concerned about me being in the house for 3 hours. She said, "I'm scared that while he's there he might unlock the windows." My lawyer said, "Well, when you get home if the windows are unlocked you can lock them."
In the end though, nobody wins in a case like this. I just can't believe that the woman I've been with for 6 years would go to such extreme measures after we had a fight. 2 weeks before she filed for an order of protection she was on a free vacation with me in Singapore. 2 months before that she was on vacation in Florida for 2 weeks and last fall I took her to San Francisco for a vacation. God, my history of abusive behaviour knows no bounds. I hope she finds someone that treats her better than I did.
