You might be a member of the Taliban if..... - Ferrari Life
 
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post #1 of 7 Old 01-11-2009, 07:42 AM Thread Starter
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You might be a member of the Taliban if.....

A buddy sent me this.

"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF......

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon unclean.
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've ever uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave".
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

Capt. Pete
'79 308 GTS, '82 Jeep CJ7 Jamboree
"Time is what prevents everything from happening all at once."
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post #2 of 7 Old 01-11-2009, 10:09 AM
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Are these Taliban chaps the same one's you told me to look out for on my epic journey from England to Singapore?
Are these the freindly people you told me to visit and give them a present of a Stars and Stripe flag, a mug with the Queen of England's face on it and to sing God Save the Queen at the top of my voice. BTW I love your suggested ice breaking conversation starter of saying, 'Yeah, I really love Israel and think the are definitely right to blow the shit out of Gaza'.
Now I know what they look like I'll make sure I find them and introduce myself

Archie
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post #3 of 7 Old 01-11-2009, 10:49 AM
 
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HAHAHAHAHA That is hilarious Pete!! Now, do you fall under any of those qualifications?

Chris

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.-Anatole France
"Dude, it's just math"-Pete
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post #4 of 7 Old 01-11-2009, 12:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Chrishawk4 View Post
HAHAHAHAHA That is hilarious Pete!! Now, do you fall under any of those qualifications?

Chris
Given his current marital status, if he has more wives than teeth, he needs to see a dentist urgently. But I think Pete qualifies for No 12 and possibly No 11 too

Archie
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post #5 of 7 Old 01-11-2009, 04:02 PM Thread Starter
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I'm kind of shaky on number 6 also. There are still a few people out there I need to declare a Jihad against.

Capt. Pete
'79 308 GTS, '82 Jeep CJ7 Jamboree
"Time is what prevents everything from happening all at once."
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post #6 of 7 Old 01-11-2009, 04:13 PM
 
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I'm kind of shaky on number 6 also. There are still a few people out there I need to declare a Jihad against.
Me!

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.-Anatole France
"Dude, it's just math"-Pete
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post #7 of 7 Old 01-11-2009, 04:13 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by archiegibbs View Post
Are these Taliban chaps the same one's you told me to look out for on my epic journey from England to Singapore?
Are these the freindly people you told me to visit and give them a present of a Stars and Stripe flag, a mug with the Queen of England's face on it and to sing God Save the Queen at the top of my voice. BTW I love your suggested ice breaking conversation starter of saying, 'Yeah, I really love Israel and think the are definitely right to blow the shit out of Gaza'.
Now I know what they look like I'll make sure I find them and introduce myself
Yeah, them's the ones. At least now you've got the Saab instead of the bicycle so you can offer to give them a lift. "Just go ahead and throw the weapons in the trunk boys! What? Yes you can hang onto your grenades. I'm just worried about the rocket launcher scorching the interior and the spent shell casings from the rifles littering up the floor. Grenades are OK."

Capt. Pete
'79 308 GTS, '82 Jeep CJ7 Jamboree
"Time is what prevents everything from happening all at once."
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