at my other job - Ferrari Life
 
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post #1 of 11 Old 07-21-2008, 05:44 PM Thread Starter
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at my other job

As many of you know, I had ambitions of finding a simple, uncomplicated part time job to help with my Ferrari bills. Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little less sensitive. So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter I lasted less than a day......


About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?' The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?' So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'


My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.......

Lane

Previous owner of 348ts SS #64, Now Ferrariless
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post #2 of 11 Old 07-21-2008, 06:03 PM
 
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LOL

great one, Lane!!

the joke was better than the job anyway, so you made the right choice! hehehe

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going." - J. P. Kennedy
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post #3 of 11 Old 07-21-2008, 08:17 PM
 
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Wow, I just gained 10x the respect I had for you Lane. That was hilarious. I would pay to see that.

Chris

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.-Anatole France
"Dude, it's just math"-Pete
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post #4 of 11 Old 07-22-2008, 12:00 AM
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Nice one

We get characters like that at our local Wal-Mart (Asda) too.

Archie
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post #5 of 11 Old 07-22-2008, 12:38 AM
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I said it before and I will say it again you a BADA$$

That made me laugh...Thanks...

Night life........ain't a good life........but it's my life -- Willy Nelson
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post #6 of 11 Old 07-22-2008, 12:45 AM
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Great one Lane! I can't believe you and I shared the same dream of being the greeter at WalMart. "Can I get you a cart?" "Have you seen this week's flyer?" Your only real job responsibility is to say, "Hi!" I just think it would be so cool to get off work after a long, hard day of greeting people, peel off the blue apron and hop into your Ferrari to drive back home to your million dollar house.

If I can't achieve that dream then I want to be the plumbing guy at Home Depot. Just think of the fun those guys have trying to convince a customer that doesn't know which end of the screwdriver to hold that installing a new electric water heater or a new half-bath or shower enclosure is an easy DIY project. "Have you ever used a propane torch before Ma'am? No? Here let me show you. It's easy."

Capt. Pete
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"Time is what prevents everything from happening all at once."
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post #7 of 11 Old 07-22-2008, 01:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saint Bastage View Post
As many of you know, I had ambitions of finding a simple, uncomplicated part time job to help with my Ferrari bills. Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little less sensitive. So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter I lasted less than a day......


About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?' The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?' So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'


My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.......
Dear Comrade Saint Bastage,

Horrid wretched people and oh how I despise them all. We have them here in England, bred of a society that rewards indolence with nary a care or heed for anything or anyone. And good for you for being so forthright in your clear cut perception and in voicing it with alacrity. My opinion of this miserable virago is that she is no more than a Bloody ol' Bag of Whores Knickers Full of Ghastly Skid-marks.

With kind rgeards,

Vulcan
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post #8 of 11 Old 07-22-2008, 11:11 AM
 
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I would've said the same thing

Breck
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post #9 of 11 Old 07-22-2008, 02:16 PM
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Brilliant!



.
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post #10 of 11 Old 07-22-2008, 11:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vulcan F-40 View Post
Dear Comrade Saint Bastage,

Horrid wretched people and oh how I despise them all. We have them here in England, bred of a society that rewards indolence with nary a care or heed for anything or anyone. And good for you for being so forthright in your clear cut perception and in voicing it with alacrity. My opinion of this miserable virago is that she is no more than a Bloody ol' Bag of Whores Knickers Full of Ghastly Skid-marks.

With kind rgeards,

Vulcan
Woo you tell it like it is Bro...

Night life........ain't a good life........but it's my life -- Willy Nelson
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post #11 of 11 Old 07-23-2008, 03:56 AM Thread Starter
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"Ghastly" seems the perfect adjective to describe "skid marks".

Lane

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