I wanted to lighten things up. Here's one I heard and wanted to share. Anybody else got some good ones?
Dan is over to John's house on a Sunday afternoon; they are sitting on the couch, having a few cold ones and watching the race. Dan, trying to make some small talk during the commercial says "So, what did you guys do last night?". John says "Oh, the wife and I went out to eat." Dan says "Oh yeah? Where did you go?" John scratches his head for a second and says "Heck, I don't know. Shoot, my memory must be going. Help me out here, what in the heck is the name of that flower? You know, the red one with the thorns on the stem?"
Dans says "Um,....A rose?"
John says "Yeah, that's it." He turns and yells into the kitchen - "Hey Rose! What's the name of that restaurant we went to last night!?"
so how long are you married again Pete? :wink: :green:
that's pretty funny.
i'm sure that Niels and i can start a "war" with telling dutchmen Vs belgians jokes
This a dutch joke specially for Dirk
Are you telling me there is some sort of rivalry between the Dutch and the Belgians? I would have never guessed it.
If you are making comments about the other side, please translate it into English so I may learn the true about the bad guys. Of course, I do not know which is the bad one. Ha-ha
Well bart most jokes are lame and hard to translate, but we da also have a beef with the french (just like the rest of the world :wink: :green: )
And bart, do you really have to ask??
OFCOURSE the dutch are the bad guys :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink: :P
We are not the ones who have issues with the French :P :P :P They seem to have issues with us angels :wink: :wink: :wink:
Okay, just one for Bart:
How can you tell a Belgian used a computer????
By the typex on the screen!
Typex is some sort of white correction ink, just in case you don't know the stuff overthere :o
that's a dumb blonde joke over here
No Dirk...My french colleagues are making the same joke with the Tippex. Another one :
Why does the Belgium Army has no submarines anymore ?
because they organised once a open-door visit day
well, their you said it => "french" colleagues :wink:
BTW Didier, do you ever check your private messages??
The belgian are always the stupid one's :D
We are the goodguys.
hehe..the french make jokes abou the belgian, the swiss about the german swiss, the dutch about the belgian, the belgian about the dutch...but I have to agree that I do not really like those stupid belgian jokes...it's valid for all nations..except for Irak...hehe...I don't want to have enemies overthere !
My best friend from college was from Poland. He is a registered member on this site but I don't think he really checks it. If he does, sorry Peter but I have to bust a few of these out. OK so here are a few Polac jokes that I'm sure most in the U.S. have heard. They are really lame so I'll post more clever jokes later.
How do you confuse a Polac?
Put him in a round room and tell him to pee in the corner.
OK now for a tasteless joke. Please don't flame me I don't agree with this at all!
President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and
asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"
The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor.
What are you guys doing here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WWIII."
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis and 1 blonde with big breasts."
The guy exclaims, "A blonde with big breasts? Why kill a blonde with big breasts?
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See , I
told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
I know that one.
andrew, that's a good one.
> This math test can predict your all-time most-watched film. Mine was Jaws.
> Send your movie back to me so I know if it was right for you...
> Try it without looking at the answers.
> It's easy and really works:
> Pick a number from 1 - 9.
> Multiply by 3.
> Add 3.
> Multiply that by 3.
> Add those two digits together.
> Use that number to find your all time favorite movie in the list below.
> Your number is:
> 1. Gone With The Wind.
> 2. Aliens.
> 3. Dances With Wolves.
> 4. Star Wars.
> 5. Forrest Gump.
> 6. Saving Private Ryan.
> 7. Jaws.
> 8. Doctor Zhivago.
> 9. The Joy Of Anal Sex w Male Goats & Leather Clad Gay Boys.
> 10. Mary Poppins.
What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa Claus?
Santa stops after 3 Ho's!
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