What are the advantages of marriage? - Ferrari Life
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post #1 of 74 Old 06-19-2009, 12:01 AM Thread Starter
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What are the advantages of marriage?

Seriously, can anyone tell me what the advantage of being married is? I don't see any. I'm legally married to a women that is trying to take me for everything I have and I will be arrested if I go within 500 yards of her yet I am with a woman now who I care for deeply and she considers me her Husband regardless of what any law says. Which is the true Marriage?

What is the advantage of being legally married? Anybody? I'm being selfish here. What is the benefit to me as a man, to marriage? I'm being burned by a vengeful bitch.

My question is "What is the advantage gained to a man by being lawfully married to a woman?"

Can anyone answer this question?

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post #2 of 74 Old 06-19-2009, 12:46 AM
 
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In the Netherlands there are certain tax advantages I think. But that's about all I can think of. Those advantages are to both people in the marriage btw, so not specifically for the man
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post #3 of 74 Old 06-19-2009, 06:53 AM
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Sorry to say but the advantages are this...some may or may not apply…
There is also a 50/50 chance of one or the other too…

Love
Compassion
Caring
Understanding
Respect
Trust
Support
Laughter
Friendship
Beautiful memories
Never being alone
Sex
Kids
Combined salary
Someone to help with housework
Growing old with someone
Grandkids

Or…you could have the other

Anger
Hate
Fights
Disrespect
No love
Mistrust
No support
Forget laughter besides when something bad happens to the other like falling down the steps
Jealousy
Bitterness
Resentment
Lies
Adultery
Destruction of property
Physical or emotional pain
Losing the rights to be with your kid’s everyday
Loneliness and im not talking about friends or family
Half of your belongings
Loss of monies earned

I know im missing a lot in both of them, but this is the gamble we take in life. The benefits are very good but the disadvantages are horrific in my mind and are not the way we chose to live our lives.


Sorry Pete...


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post #4 of 74 Old 06-19-2009, 08:48 AM Thread Starter
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Mario,
Excellent lists and if you believe in that then that is great for you. I've looked over your lists and I can get everything from the first list from my girlfriend to whom I'm not married. Everything on the second list I get from the woman to whom I am married. So no advantage to marriage.

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post #5 of 74 Old 06-19-2009, 12:09 PM
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I can't see any advantages myself. In the Uk there are no tax breaks for being married, and when you've co-habited for 6 months in the eyes of the law everything you own is hers anyway. It wasn't even a good excuse for a party for me, because I had to pay for it all myself. Not that it was a bad day, because it wasn't, it was a great day, I could have just found better ways of spending a whole load of my money instead of inviting 100 odd people I didn't really know that well to eat and get drunk at my expense in the most expensive country house for miles

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post #6 of 74 Old 06-19-2009, 01:49 PM
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yeah

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post #7 of 74 Old 06-19-2009, 04:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pete04222 View Post
Mario,
Excellent lists and if you believe in that then that is great for you. I've looked over your lists and I can get everything from the first list from my girlfriend to whom I'm not married. Everything on the second list I get from the woman to whom I am married. So no advantage to marriage.

Hey...dont get pissed at me....I just wrote a list, you decide what you want from it. I never said I believed in anything. I make my own happiness and to my daughters, the rest...whatever. But since you asked what i believe in...I believe in two things, me and my money (hard earned), everything else I dont trust. And whom ever thinks money isnt everything.....try living on the street for 10 years then come back to me and tell me money isnt important, its very important and we are all greedy for it, it's just some more than others.

I would rather be happy and alone (besides my daughters) than miserable with someone.


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post #8 of 74 Old 06-19-2009, 10:38 PM Thread Starter
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I'm not pissed at you Mario. I asked a question and I thought you presented a well thought out response. What I am saying is that everything on your list of advantages I get from my girlfriend to whom I am not married. She considers me her husband and our relationship is based on love and trust. That is enough for us. Well, for me anyway, I can't marry her because I'm already married. My wife has been stalling the divorce for over a year now because she wants me out of her life but she doesn't want my money out of her life and she doesn't want her lifestyle to change.

I agree with what you say about the money. When we were together my wife said that she wasn't with me because of the money, she loved me for me. Now that she doesn't love me, the whole divorce is about the money. I earn that money. I'm not out on the streets but everytime I pull into my parent's driveway (where I live now) it burns my ass that my wife is pulling into a heated garage in a large home that I pay for driving a Mercedes that I bought.

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post #9 of 74 Old 06-20-2009, 02:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Sorry to say but the advantages are this...some may or may not apply…
There is also a 50/50 chance of one or the other too…
You mean a ONE in THREE chance that your marriage will end?

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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Love
Overrated
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Compassion
Not a chance
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Caring
I can take care of myself
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Understanding
I don't even understand myself sometimes
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Respect
Why would I need that? I respect myself. That's enough. I don't live my life for other people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Trust
I trust only animals. They don't stab you in the back. Humans are evil and should not be trusted
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Support
Why would I need that? I support myself
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Laughter
Comedy TV !!
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Friendship
I'm not married to ANY of my friends yet I still have friendships. Starships would be even better
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Beautiful memories
Yeah I get those at the Fiat 500 Club
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Never being alone
I like being alone! People are generally stupid so why would I wanna be with them?
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Sex
700$ a week
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Kids
HELL NO ! Kids are evil !!!
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Combined salary
Which SHE will claim and spend
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Someone to help with housework
You mean: Someone to nag nag nag all the time about vacuuming the living room?
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Growing old with someone
Why would you want to see someone get all wrinkly? I just get me a younger f*ckbuddy
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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Grandkids
Even worse then kids

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Originally Posted by Magnum6464 View Post
Or…you could have the other
Anger
Hate
Fights
Disrespect
No love
Mistrust
No support
Forget laughter besides when something bad happens to the other like falling down the steps
Jealousy
Bitterness
Resentment
Lies
Adultery
Destruction of property
Physical or emotional pain
Losing the rights to be with your kid’s everyday
Loneliness and im not talking about friends or family
Half of your belongings
Loss of monies earned
Yes. This !!!

No personal offence intended Magnum, I just wanted to make a point. I'm with Pete on this one
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post #10 of 74 Old 06-20-2009, 05:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Basosz View Post
No personal offence intended Magnum, I just wanted to make a point. I'm with Pete on this one
You are too young to understand......so you can laugh about it all you want....everyone gets bitten by love...

Pete is in a bad situation and he still has a girlfriend....

Grow up Basosz

Oh...and no offence too


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post #11 of 74 Old 06-20-2009, 10:50 AM Thread Starter
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I agree with Basosz, my current girlfriend has her own career, her own place, etc. She doesn't "need" me. She can do just fine on her own. She "wants" me to be in her life and asks nothing in return. She provides me with everything on Mario's first list and we are not married. She even refers to me as her husband. We're together and that seems to be good enough for us.

Mario, Here's a picture of her I thought you'd like. Both the gun and the girl are Chinese made. She also likes hiking and camping and boating and fishing and 4-wheeling and driving in the plow truck. How cool is that? I found me a little Chinese redneck.
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post #12 of 74 Old 06-20-2009, 12:40 PM
 
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LOL you went to the other side of the world to find a redneck, that's pretty ironic, Pete!

About the topic, there are no financial advantages for a man when he gets married, that's for sure. Still, there are other things that make getting married worth it, like Mario said.

As for having a girlfriend and not getting married, like Pete said, that may work very well but depends a lot on the culture and place where you live. Here in Brazil it doesn't matter if you are married or not, if you have a stable relationship it is legally pretty much the same as being married.

So if the "price" of having a girlfriend or a wife is the same in terms of divorce, why not get married?

I think the title of this topic perhaps should be "what are the advantages of divorce?". Had your wife not screwed you up, Pete, you'd be happy and married to her like you were before. Because your wife is a bitch, doesn't have any moral and screwed you up doesn't mean marriage is the problem. She is the problem.

Many other members here are married and happy with this, I suppose. So are my parents, after over 35 years of marriage and 3 kids (I'm the youngest).

And on the other hand, my brother was in a similar situation to mine (same work, had to move from our home city, had a girlfriend for many years) and didn't want to marry her, instead wanted to stay as boyfriend/girlfriend with this stupid "stable relationship". Instead of growing together and making their relationship stronger like me and my wife, their relationship got worse and worse until they broke up a few months ago. Now my brother finds himself in a difficult situation because he can't have the girl he wants, simply because there is no way to make up for the wasted time.

Anyway, this is a discussion very hard to have on a forum as it depends on many many many specific details of each situation and person.

My opinion is similar to my aunt's: get married or don't get married, you'll regret it someday anyway hehehehehe

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going." - J. P. Kennedy
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post #13 of 74 Old 06-20-2009, 01:46 PM
 
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You are too young to understand......so you can laugh about it all you want....everyone gets bitten by love...

Pete is in a bad situation and he still has a girlfriend....

Grow up Basosz

Oh...and no offence too
First of all: Who are you to judge that I'm too young to understand anything?
Second: i wasn't making fun of anything. I was merely making a point with something that might possibly be construed as humor. You obviously didn't think it was funny. You are entitled to that opinion.
Third: When someone is happy in his marriage, I applaud that. A stable marriage is better for the environment (less taxiing the kids from parent to parent, couples share a car, stuff like that) and when there are kids involved it's supposed to be way better for said kid. I'm all for that. My parents are married 35 years in december and they're very happy. Good for them.

Then again... I'm 30 years old and I have been bitten by love. "bitten" being the operative word here. Whenever I was in a relationship, I just wanted out. I don't want to have to do all these couples things that girls seem to want to do. I need my own space (cliche but true) and I need lots of it. It mattered little to me that I would hurt the girl in the process. As I don't want to be considered a jackass too much I now decided I don't want to be in a relationship anymore. I see no real advantages to a relationship, let alone marriage. My sister was married for less than a year when her then-hubby said he wanted out. Pete's wife is the bride from hell. I've seen several marriages around me fall apart. I know that every relationship had its own little idiosyncrasies that make them impossible to compare, but I want nothing to do with it if one out of three marriages falls apart. Maybe it is to do with me not finding "ms. Right" or anything, but I just don't see the advantages. I'm very VERY happy on my own, so why should I let someone intrude on that happiness?

I do have to agree with Stile though. The thread should possibly be better named his way. Pete would probably still be married if his wife wasn't the spawn of the devil. His argument that marriage is the thing to do, just because it doesn't make a difference if you're married or not is flawed though. Marriage is more difficult to break than a relationship where there were no vows involved. Judges have to be involved and official stuff has to be done. Relationship is simpler: "We're through. It's over between us" and you can go back to being on your own.

A friend of mine once told me the difference between marriage and non-marriage: The splitting up gets way more expensive (as witnessed by Pete).

If true then why get married?
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post #14 of 74 Old 06-20-2009, 02:07 PM
 
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not really, Bas, you see, with this law of the "stable relationship" that we have here in Brazil (and it applies also to gay couples) in case the relationship ends it is as much as a trouble as a divorce

if the other person wants to screw you like Pete's wife did, they can (probably not so much because the Brazilian law doesn't protect the woman as much as the American law), and to make the end of the relationship official there is paperwork to do anyway, just like in a divorce

so like I said, there really isn't much of a difference in case of a break up or divorce, so why not get married?

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going." - J. P. Kennedy
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post #15 of 74 Old 06-20-2009, 04:40 PM
 
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Good grief... Brazil is weird ! How long do you have to be in a relationship for to be tied down like that? Does the relationship have to be registered? If so: when? I think I like Brazil... it looks like a really beautifull country... but this sounds very off the wall.

But when you put it like that... indeed. Why not get married. You're screwed anyway. Then again... you could always not get a girlfriend and spend the money you save on Star Trek books
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post #16 of 74 Old 06-20-2009, 04:41 PM
 
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BTW: hooray for Brazil for being pro-gay-rights.
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post #17 of 74 Old 06-20-2009, 04:46 PM
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with this law of the "stable relationship" that we have here in Brazil
In America call it Commonlaw and it can be just as pervasive as marriage depending on the jurisdiction.

Lane

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post #18 of 74 Old 06-20-2009, 07:40 PM Thread Starter
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That's true, in some States if you live together for 6 months then it is the same as being married and she is entitled to half your stuff. Canada is like that also and I think Australia too. Maine is not like that. There is no "common law" marriage and there is no gay marriage. In Maine you actually have to walk down the aisle and say "I Do" in front of a legal notary and at least 2 witnesses.

I think the thread is aptly titled because if I hadn't taken the above steps I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in now. If we were just "co-habitating" and she wasn't happy and wanted it to end I could have just said, "Fine. You know where the door is. Leave anytime you want." But because I said those 2 little words all she had to do was call her lawyer and then have the police show me where the door is.

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post #19 of 74 Old 06-20-2009, 10:34 PM
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Emotions not "Facts"

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That's true, in some States if you live together for 6 months then it is the same as being married and she is entitled to half your stuff. Canada is like that also and I think Australia too. Maine is not like that. There is no "common law" marriage and there is no gay marriage. In Maine you actually have to walk down the aisle and say "I Do" in front of a legal notary and at least 2 witnesses.

I think the thread is aptly titled because if I hadn't taken the above steps I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in now. If we were just "co-habitating" and she wasn't happy and wanted it to end I could have just said, "Fine. You know where the door is. Leave anytime you want." But because I said those 2 little words all she had to do was call her lawyer and then have the police show me where the door is.
I believe that emotions at times cloud and abscure rationale and reason, and I believe now is such the case. Pete I would like for you to reference the legal statue that you site as being enforceable as to a partner (Man or Woman) being entitled to 1/2 of ones assets after a period of 6 months of cohabitation, As I understand, there are "None"...Please don't let a bitter divorce muddy the facts!....ps....Never take advice on relationships or for that matter any subject from a guy (basosz) that has over 500 Star Trek comic books, his is a fantasy world far removed from reality.
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post #20 of 74 Old 06-21-2009, 01:59 AM
 
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ps....Never take advice on relationships or for that matter any subject from a guy (basosz) that has over 500 Star Trek comic books, his is a fantasy world far removed from reality.
When will you ever learn to read? I DON'T HAVE 500 Star Trek comic books. I have almost 500 Star Trek novels though. And over a hundred non-novel books like interview books, biographies, encyclopedias and the such. But I only have 254 comic books. You really do suffer from dyscalculia don't you?
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